Canada’s Wonderland – Hallowe’en Haunt!

wonderland.pngNow that we are into October, that means Canada’s Wonderland is ready to scare the life out of us every Saturday and Sunday with Halloween Haunt up until Oct 31, and what better way to get to know someone you’ve just started dating than by seeing what a sissy they really are! Or, if you’re really into them, this is a cute way to get close!

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You don’t even have to be new to dating! I mean, with 20 haunted attractions and 700 monsters, my husband is already embarrassed to be seen with me. Something about a grown woman screaming that she’s about to pee herself in public might have something to do with it, but then again I’ve had two kids so this won’t be the first (or the last) time it happens. I might just surprise these characters with what my face looks like after being up 3 times in the night with a toddler. Let’s just change that to 701 monsters.haunt_attractionsIf you’re not into being scared, visit during the day and have a blast with the other sissies in the daylight (me). The rides are always the most thrilling (I swear I thought Leviathan was as scary as childbirth, I just wasn’t sure we’d make it out alive) but there is definitely something for everyone. Make sure you grab your FunPix for the rides that do take your picture. There is nothing more entertaining than making fun of your friends and family for being scared, and storing it away for important moments like wedding slide shows and Christmas cards.leviath.png

If you’re bringing smaller kids, Planet Snoopy and Kidzville will be just as thrilling with their own rides, games and restaurants, and each day you’ll find characters walking around the grounds ready for a perfect photo opportunity! Every Saturday and Sunday in October there are shows to entertain your kidlets, like Charlie Brown’s Trick-Or-Treat Show, It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, Spooky Tales with Snoopy and Lucy Van Pelt’s Costume Contest!camp_spooky.png

Ultimately, Canada’s Wonderland is a hoot and a half any time of year, but October has got to be the most fun, in my opinion anyway. It’s at the top of our Bucket List and we’ll be headed there in the next few weeks to be sure we catch it all before it’s gone for another year. While you’re there, grab your 2017 Season’s Pass so you can save (you know I love a deal) and experience the park in all seasons of the year!

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What it’s REALLY like travelling with small children.

Ah, small kids…toddlers…even babies…the loves of our lives, the little screaming banshees who don’t let you get 15 minutes to the grocery store, yet we decide to travel hours with them in a car or on a plane to cherish the moments that will last a lifetime.

Oh you’ll remember the moments alright. I remember taking my 18 month old to Florida to meet up with my parents who were staying at my brother’s house.

“It’ll be so great” I tell my husband. “It’s like having built in babysitters, but with a pool”.

I had all these grand plans of my parents waking up with my daughter to make her heart shaped pancakes in the morning as I slept in, only to come out and see them lounging by the pool where I would sip mimosas while taking in some sunshine after a long hot shower. Maybe I’d even head out into town by myself to grab a few things from the store, walking slowly through the aisles with a smile recognizing all the different things the USA had, which Canada didn’t. I’d come back to lunch being made for me, only to spend the rest of the day at the pool, have Oma and Opa tuck young sweets to sleep, and read the rest of the evening in the cool evening breeze.

What I forgot, was the fact I had to actually GET to Florida first.

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We get to the airport in Toronto and my then 18 month old discovers the moving sidewalks. Neat. Let’s do that for 2 hours while Security radios back and forth wondering about my abandoned luggage sitting in a corner. As we are finally called to board the plane, Fun Toddler has now had enough and wants to go home, and while my anxiety is basically through the roof, I looked pretty suspicious. I was sweating, pacing, breathing heavy and had tears in my eyes while my toddler does one of those drop moves where every muscle in her body lets go, and she flops backwards, (basically in half) while travellers nearby signal others wondering if I just kidnapped this Airport Angel. We get on the plane, and the man I am to sit next to rolls his eyes and says “GREAT!!” but lucky for me, a sweet woman switches seats with him, telling me she loves babies. Awesome, because mine is pretty much up for sale at this point.

Here’s where it gets good.

First Time Flyer is sitting quietly on my lap as we start to taxi down the runway, and who turns her sweet little head, makes awkward eye contact with me as her face goes red and the entire back of the plane starts to smell like the lavatory overflowed? That’s right. Plane Pooper.

Now we’re taking off, and Plane Pooper is furious. She drops again, this time to the floor where I see the poop is also trying to take off. As she tries to scoot her bum across the (super clean) plane carpet,  I am furiously shoving wipes into the back of her diaper, hoping nothing falls out, but nothing has gone my way at this point so why start now, right? Poop wipes fall out of her diaper and onto the carpet, making the plane smell even worse, so I signal to the Flight Attendant and say “SIR, I have GOT to get into that bathroom!!” to which he replies “Ma’am, the seatbelt sign is still on”, to which I REPLY, “I’m pretty sure we have soiled the seatbelt already, so I’m going to risk my life and get into that bathroom.”

As it turns out, 18 month olds are a little longer than the pull down baby change table in the lavatory, and being that we are still in take off mode, I remove her diaper while my screaming poop machine is angled with her head near the back of the plane. Her flailing legs kick into her own feces and in a windshield wiper sort of way, starts to smear the poop all over the baby change table, all while this friendly Flight Attendant starts waving shiny green bags of Crispers in her face, singing “BABYYYYY you want some CRISPERRRRSSSS”.

She did not want Crispers. She wanted wine. Oh no wait, that was me.

ANYWAY, we made it out of that bathroom alive. Her, naked. Me, in tears.

We made it to Florida alright, but now that I’ve got a second child who is 18 months old today, these are the types of trips we are taking now.

Hikes in our backyard, where we wave to planes instead of flying on them, and when I get the bright idea to book a trip, I remind myself of this story, and we make moments at home instead.

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